I first wrote this to my newsletter community in October 2021, but I thought you should get to read it too
…WhatsApp, Habits and Buying
It’s October already, and whew! Time does fly. I almost want to ask where the year went to, but…
Not to put pressure on you or anything, but I’d like to know: how has the year been; and what would you like to pay better attention to in these final weeks of the year?
Rest, renewal, reflection? Or do you want to power up and close out on a few targets you are on track with?
Bonding, planning, introspection? Or would you be seeking out new thrills as the year winds down?
Regardless of what you do choose to do, remember to follow your inner compass, stay true to yourself and your values, and do not allow yourself to get sucked into the external frenzy of societal expectations
I know I often say
People are not for/against you. People are for themselves, and the sooner you recognise this, the better
– Jane OLUWADARE
But sometimes, people do mean well. The main issue tends to be that they haven’t walked in your shoes, and so they can’t help you build the tools and bridges that you really need in your specific scenario. So when you get advice (or hear other people’s goals), please remember to take the principle and not necessarily the action, adapt for your reality, and then make the leap when the time is right. I possibly do not say this often enough, but I am indeed firmly in your corner, and constantly rooting for you. If you ever need someone to share a worry, dissect a thought pattern, give your radical candour or celebrate a win (no matter how small or big), all you need to do is to write back to me. I’ve got you
Not too long ago, we started the conversation about time and energy, and we deepened it with a look at Chaotic Habits and how the Principle helps. Let’s take it a tad further
In the past month, I noticed a number of things about how the time-energy dynamic also shows up as a “more impulsive nature” and thought we could pay a bit of attention to how that can impact our buying (and/or selling) tendencies
Let’s start with buying – and as usual, a little bit of introspection. In the last 30 days:
- How many of the things you bought did you buy because you needed them?
- How many did you buy because it was properly marketed and available?
- What are the things you need to buy but can not buy because you already spent the money on (2)?
Do you have your lists?
Awesome. Now let’s review:
how many of those decisions are still justifiable now?
You see, the items in (1) speak to budgeting. Those in (2) speak to impulse buying, as promoted by significant mindshare, while (3) points toward buyer’s remorse. The weight and distribution of your purchases across these lists can help you see how much of your spending is going towards what you actually need, how much of your spending is covering the things that are priorities to you, and how much impulse buying is working in your favour.
Yup! You read that right. You can make impulse buying work in your favour. Here’s how:
Do you remember the day the Big Three crashed? WhatsApp was down, Facebook did not work, and Instagram wasn’t loading? Can you recall what you did instead? Did you
- pick a ready alternative?
- keep trying to get any of the platforms to work?
- go do something else?
Your instinctive response in the middle of that totally unexpected situation is a reliable reflection of how your subconscious is most likely wired, and it shows you the direction your impulses will lead you towards. When rattled, we reach for the comfort of the familiar i.e. the thing that has the largest mindshare. When we make a non-conscious decision, we reach for what has the largest mindshare. Impulses are simply pulsations of the subconscious towards the things we have taught it to be important to us
Let me try to put it in simpler terms: the reason you deep cleaned your house (rather than doing a lot of unjustified spending on Jumia/Amazon) when you had that big task/deadline looming is because you had been feeling guilty for a while about not cleaning. The brain defaults to the subconscious once something is off-kilter, because it is wired to protect you (I’d delve more into the fright-freeze-flight-fawn responses in a later edition of this Newsletter, so stay tuned)
How does this knowledge help you regulate impulsive buying? Simple:
rather than fixating on the habit, fixate on the order within the chaos
Since the underlying principle here is mindshare, your new focus is to choose what you allow in. For this, you can consider:
- Regular journaling
You need to ideate and dream about the life you want, the goals you want to hit, the outcomes you prefer
Write it down often enough that it sinks into your subconscious - Social media purges
If something does not align to your values and/or priorities, you might want to take it out of the equation. That way, you don’t end up “accidentally” making a spend that you’d regret. Unfollow, mute, block as necessary - Curation
If you don’t want to see more of something, do not engage. A lot of us whine about the algorithm and complain about big media “pushing” certain content our way. But the thing is: the algorithm is learning from you! If you like, comment, quote, share, or copy the link, the algorithm presumes it is something you’d like to see more of, and will send it your way
The answer is to disengage. Yo can not lean into a curated life and spend your time online trolling – it will boomerang. If you don’t want to see it, scroll past. If you’d like more of it, actively engage. Like, comment, share
(yes – it is also why you rarely see your friends’ posts anymore. You don’t engage on their posts, so the algorithm doesn’t show it to you. Be open in your affection, or let them be) - Budgeting
When you have an idea of where your money is supposed to go to, you teach your brain that those things come first before any other thing
Plan out spending buckets, and prioritise the necessities. Keep records of your spending according to those buckets. Your subconscious will learn - Make firm commitments based on your budget
Set reminders if you need to – the more bugged you are about need-to-have’s, the less likely you’d be to buy “whatever shows up”
Do you know the best perk of this approach? You form a habit that pushes you towards your financial goals, without the hassle of fighting your brain or “breaking existing habits” What do you think? Do write back to let me know how it goes on your end
REFLECT:
What are you deciding to do, and why? What do you need to get it done? What tech is readily available to ease the process? What mundane (but enjoyable) activity can you layer it on? Where do you think would work best for doing it?
Pro-tip: use stuff you already have at your disposal, and within convenient reach to get started. As you build streaks, experience and track records on the journey to this outcome, one of the games you can play is to see how many different ways your method/process can be improved to help you enjoy this better
Remember: more enjoyment = more dopamine
You win, your brain wins, and you actually start to look forward to doing the activity whenever it shows up on your schedule/daily plan
So let’s get to work immediately. Remember our very first lesson?
The end goals are action, change and growth, not just to become a repository of knowledge
– Jane OLUWADARE
Friendly reminder that if you need help with this, if you want conversations, a bragging partner and/or accountability around this process, all you need to do is sign up for productivity coaching with me and I’d be happy to help you win 🤗
I hope you enjoyed this letter. If you’d like to read more on intentional growth, self-awareness and productivity, you should consider signing up for my newsletter
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Yours in growth, development, and with a lot of love
Jane OLUWADARE