#AuDHD
Having one or the other is in itself a hassle – from what other neurodivergent people have shared
When I first started to confront the idea that I might be autistic or have ADHD, one of the reasons I struggled was because I didn’t fit into the popular presentations of either conditions
I felt too efficient to have ADHD, and too socially comfortable to be autistic
– Jane OLUWADARE
I was masking, of course, and that was another layer to unravel, but even beneath the mask, I didn’t quite fit into either bucket and I doubted my own neurodivergence for a long time
For me, it was a lot easier to accept that I was lazy, stubborn and recalcitrant than that I was neurodivergent
– Jane OLUWADARE
Funny, I know. Given that my work ethic was stellar and I was quite the productivity queen, my self-perception was so twisted, it was no shock that I had trouble perceiving my own growth (but that’s a story for another day)
things started to finally make sense when I stumbled on AuDHD as a term, pointing out to me that when conditions co-occur in a single person’s body, they impact each other in ways that skew presentations away from what is typical or expected
Sometimes, it does feel like conflict. Some days, you know one of them was responsible for something, but you can’t tell who the culprit was
Sometimes, they mask each other: one (unexpectedly) covers a lapse of the other, and leaves you feeling like a fraud/liar
Sometimes, the combination helps you last a little longer in a social minefield, and sometimes, they shorten your bandwidth
My inability to leave something unfinished (autism) is the main reason I don’t have a litany of abandoned courses – not because I don’t have ADHD (you’d know by how much I struggle with each). Hyperfocus is often so much stronger for me, contributing to why my hobbies often make it all the way to becoming income sources before I lose interest – only to circle back in a few years
It’s sometimes hard to find the right words to describe it: it’s ADHD, it’s autism, yet something else entirely as well